I believed in the power I held since it was my decision to leave .. I walked away with this huge relief that I was sure of what am doing , the consciousness of my actions .. I will never look back regretting trusting my heart , they say better later than never , I remember hearing my heart convincing my mind with this over and over again . I was ready to deal with with what ever was yet feel after this , guilt , FEAR ..
Guilt for not trusting my heart earlier in the beginning .  Spending time longer than my " thinking cup of coffee " or should I say cups ..  I thought fear will go away . My poor heart drained heart beats trying to awaken me .. it wasn't mutual , don't go any deeper , it goes both ways , and my heart knew he can't go deeper than that .. I tried to convince my self that it will be fine with all that adrenaline .. I though maybe thinking can do me good , as people always have said .
FEAR , at first I thought it was cold , but cold doesn't shiver through your heart through your inner peace .. I am even more afraid that I can't figure out why am afraid . As one of the most valuable lessons of my life I learned to always know how I feel . Why .. and what to do from there .. so basically this was like a maze to my mind .. the kind of maze that could drive you insane .. the ones my father would give me to keep me busy for weeks .. to wake up one day knowing the solution ..
Right now am hoping I won't spend weeks drunk from thinking ..
I hope tomorrow brings my mind amnesia ..