Good mornings everyone .. It's been quite a while since I have posted anything here or even write anything that matters , and that's sad , because I know somehow that it means am lacking a bit of clarity , overwhelmed choices . and not being able to figure exactly why am still drifting away is still a part of the puzzle .. but here I am today making another "uneasy" choice and am well aware of its consequences to write bunch of scrambled words about few choices and decision I have made recently that I have to admit though the process wasn't quite "right" but it's working just fine for me - so far at least .
So decision #1 :
Dying my hair in every color I want - not all at once .. again not now at least .
so I have asked my parents and brother about what they think about me dying my hair copper red , since there is a lot of parties coming up the next couple of months , and they all raged in my face about just how beautiful my hair looks like without anything , and I should leave it the same , but the point they all missed isn't that I wasn't confident enough about how I look , but I wanted the change , god I even need it . and you realize the importance of the change , few things may seem fine the way they are .. and everything is working fine with it , that we forget that change can be as good as right now , even better sometimes . true it can be a lot worse , but as one of my life rules , is that it's enough that we have gone through the journey itself . so basically - away from the girly hair color issue - I am prompting CHANGE .. whenever you're feeling comfortable where you are , then it's time to change ..
Decision #2
HONESTY .. to be honest this is the most difficult decision I have to confess that I am struggling with , see almost 4 years ago I came to the conclusion that I am not as quite as honest as I "thought" and started doing some life changing things regarding me always being honest about how I feel , and always question the reason I do anything - since it's all connected in my case - and I have .. truly have , and the best kind of decisions came out and more kind of "happy endings " . But here's the thing sometimes your doing something for so long , that you forget why or even what you're doing .. LOST is probably a good word here , but it's the weird kind , the one where you don't even know you're in ..
So I thought it was very useful if I write some goals , and express feeling in specific words on pieces of paper and keep them in a box - like shredded diary - and in the end of the month you would just read all about how you feel , and have a new perspective on them probably have a new feelings . to be able to look back at things and how you felt about them , make the next decisions based on how you are feeling , should feel regarding "temporary" feelings . Look back at old times / feeling ,, feel again then think again .
So decision #1 :
Dying my hair in every color I want - not all at once .. again not now at least .
so I have asked my parents and brother about what they think about me dying my hair copper red , since there is a lot of parties coming up the next couple of months , and they all raged in my face about just how beautiful my hair looks like without anything , and I should leave it the same , but the point they all missed isn't that I wasn't confident enough about how I look , but I wanted the change , god I even need it . and you realize the importance of the change , few things may seem fine the way they are .. and everything is working fine with it , that we forget that change can be as good as right now , even better sometimes . true it can be a lot worse , but as one of my life rules , is that it's enough that we have gone through the journey itself . so basically - away from the girly hair color issue - I am prompting CHANGE .. whenever you're feeling comfortable where you are , then it's time to change ..
Decision #2
HONESTY .. to be honest this is the most difficult decision I have to confess that I am struggling with , see almost 4 years ago I came to the conclusion that I am not as quite as honest as I "thought" and started doing some life changing things regarding me always being honest about how I feel , and always question the reason I do anything - since it's all connected in my case - and I have .. truly have , and the best kind of decisions came out and more kind of "happy endings " . But here's the thing sometimes your doing something for so long , that you forget why or even what you're doing .. LOST is probably a good word here , but it's the weird kind , the one where you don't even know you're in ..
So I thought it was very useful if I write some goals , and express feeling in specific words on pieces of paper and keep them in a box - like shredded diary - and in the end of the month you would just read all about how you feel , and have a new perspective on them probably have a new feelings . to be able to look back at things and how you felt about them , make the next decisions based on how you are feeling , should feel regarding "temporary" feelings . Look back at old times / feeling ,, feel again then think again .
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